In the early hours of Tuesday morning last week, a lady of 81 passed quietly from this world to the next. Over the course of one-and-a-half years she’d been battling a particularly virulent illness which insidiously lodged itself in her cells and relentlessly wore down critical functions, which eventually, inevitably, proved too much for her overtaxed system.
She passed as she had always lived: quietly, discreetly, intensely private, unwilling to inconvenience others, and invariably solicitous: always asking if those who visited her had eaten or to be sure to get enough rest to rise early the next morning for work. At the end, there were only the sounds of hospital air conditioning, the laboured breathing of others in the room, and the discreet scurrying of nurses on duty.
The simple fact is that no man or woman’s life can ever be encompassed in one telling. There is no way to give each year its allotted weight, to include each event, each person who helped to shape a lifetime. What can be done is to try and be faithful in spirit to the record, and to try to find one's way to the heart of the person.
The lady who expired was not endowed with excessive wealth or exorbitant property holdings, never held high official titles or exalted office. She was not the commander of military legions, nor the rulers of vast lands. She could not boast any scientific achievement, nor exceptional architectural gift.
Yet the legacy she leaves is in more ways than one, even more important than any of those who are either appointed, elected or vaulted into high office. Through her well-lived life, she was a Pioneer, and endowed the generations she influenced with an example and timeless values without which Singapore could never have reached an SG52, much less even hope for an SG 100.
To the large stream of family, friends, and relatives who stood in line in the decorated HDB void deck to pay homage to this slight, always elegantly coiffed, impeccably dressed figure with exceptional cultivated manners from an era increasingly receding in history, they were acknowledging her role as the centre of their world, their font of everyday practical wisdom, always ready with a friendly greeting, an encouraging word and a luminous smile that somehow always gave one hope that no matter how tough things were, life would always somehow turn out all right.
For those of her immediate family, she remained the one fixed point of advice and conscience in often bewildering changing times, always counselling humility, tolerance dignity and dispensing a simple wisdom encouraging trust in fellow man, and the value of perserverant resilience. Through a lifetime Taoist, she lived with the tolerance, patience and exemplary caring of a Christian, a Hindu, or Muslim.
She bequeathed upon her young nation a legacy of the greatest value: raising seven children who in turn produced seven grandchildren, guiding them with advice and through her own example of stoic acceptance befitting a Pioneer like so many others forged a legacy that seems to be increasingly lost in a sea of rhetoric, sloganeering and besieged values.
She lived through the horrendous years of World War Two, seeking shelter first in the jungle wilds of Malaya from the rapacious Japanese occupation of the island they named Syonan, torn from her husband, betrothed via arranged marriage, conscious of the need to survive a hardscrabble existence, and imbued with the faith that one day they would be reunited again in a world free of occupation.
That day would come in 1945 when both of them, once more in each other ‘s arms, would re-start a life that had never really begun. They worked hard, saved every penny, learned through life’s harsh lessons and petty cruelties, creating a successful small business that, like those of so many other brave young couples, would become the economic base of a nation that would one day build upon those humble foundations to become a G20 world-beater –- for today in a world of mega corporations and faceless banks where customer experience is all too often merely a mask for the pursuit of up-selling financial product at any costs, it is crucial that governments never lose sight that from small business saplings great trees grow.
Moreover, she and her husband always provided food on the table for their growing family, a roof over their heads, and economized when necessary to give them rare treats or the newest schoolbooks. Most importantly, when each child was of a certain age they were put through their paces in the family business after school, learning from their parents practical real life skills such as how to serve customers, pay vendors, negotiate with suppliers, balance of payments, inventory control, stocking shelves for maximum display effect and developing genuine pride in contributing to the growth of a business which in turn became the regular centre of their neighbourhood. These were important life skills and provided each child with important, practical knowledge that would stand them in good stead in the future --- “street smarts” we would call them today.
Her legacy lives on in the proud and intense closeness of her family, each of whom has contributed to the evolving history of this nation: two of her boys served in the National Service with honour, three siblings would become successful entrepreneurs, one a nationally recognized author and educator, another a caregiver, and another a banker who would display her filial gratitude by taking her mother on fabulous trips to some of the most exotic locales, all in grateful thanks for providing her with an opportunity to excel via a university education.
Some historians believe that the effect of lives are like rocks thrown into calm pools of water: that influence from those lives is spread in ever wider concentric circles. If so, then this life’s effects are great indeed for the ripple swirl far from the centre of impact.
The great Lady’s apartment is empty now, but never entirely bereft of her presence –- the intangible, ephemeral qualities of a powerful existence: in her lifetime though it would never occur to her to boast of artistic talent, strung all throughout the rafters are affixed paper lanterns and exquisite mobiles of great delicacy, fashioned in intricate patterns requiring great care and concentration: colourful goldfish bob and weave in the breeze, a mobile of fish in layers chase each other, and grand majestic lantern-like constructs hang testament to the hours they must have taken to carefully construct. I sit below them, transfixed by their gentle movements. And on certain days I park myself outside the apartment’s main gate and take in the full panoply of her carefully cultivated potted plants, splashes of vivid colour now so carefully in the care of her eldest son.
The wind gently wafts through the leaves, rustling my hair.
I feel her presence. I wish i could have known her for longer. And I envy her children for the time they had with her.
As long as we remember her, she will always be in our hearts.